May 14th 2008; Pass at least 5 IGCSEs
July 2008; Get into Monash Jakarta taking Arts and Design
2010; Get into Monash Melbourne, taking Visual Art/Multimedia Design/Product Design
2013; Apply scholarship to France
umm currently those are all that i can think of.
I used to look up on you.
You used to be three-metres high.
You were something.
I did respect you for acting so mature.
You have a job, a well-paid one, especially.
You take care of your mom.
You're not scared to admit talk about your mom,
Cause some guys are ashamed of it, which is lame.
I'm sorry, I guess I was wrong.
You were this tower that I look up to,
Now you are just ast tiny as three centimetres while you were three metres high in my eyes
You are too stupid to let me go and showing the real you too soon.
Admit it, Mr. M, I am brilliant, creative, cheerful, fun, patient, nice,
And I was willing to sacrifice myself for you.
I did what I used to not,
And you (might) say that I don't put too much effort for you?
Shame on you. I say, shame on you.
I am not saying that I am ready to deny your existence and your power in me,
To have the blasphemy of you in me,
But just watch and see.
Eventually.
Sooner or later.
I will.
I am not going to let you to take over my life,
Ruin it,
Crash it into pieces,
And let it scatter on the street.
Crush.
I am not saying that I am completely absolutely careless about you.
But someday I will.
Eventually.
Sooner or later.
Apparently, I still am not.
But you could just sit back and relax,
Watch me struggling to get rid of him, the devil that took over my soul.
If I say he will go away, he will.
If I say he will disappear, he will.
If I say he doesn't exist, he does not.
I have avoided talking to him.
I have avoided to listen to Arctic Monkeys.
But somehow I just can't stand it and guess what I did.
If you are not that retarded you can tell.
These blogs make me sound needy.
Needy, stupid, immature, and what else?
I guess there must be a lot.
But people who have feelings,
People who do have heart would not tell me how wrong I am.
They know how it feels like to be abandoned, broke up, and trying to get all the broken pieces of me into one again.
I say it is natural.
This piece of writing shows my vague feeling.
of you
yeah you won't read, i can tell.
But I'm writing this to the world to tell them how dumb you are to let me go
..And how dumb I am for not letting you go.
stommelijk.
gue ngerasa.
kalo gue cuma sekedar ada.
gue gak dibutuhin.
gue cuma ada doang.
cuma buat nerusin keturunan.
gak lebih dari itu.
titik.
gue ngerasa.
bonyok gue malu sm gue.
bonyok gue cuma mengurus gue sekedar buat formalitas.
bonyok gue mau gue pinter bukan buat idup gue ntar.
tapi demi gengsi mreka.
ya malu dong punya anak bego.
gue ngerasa.
kalo gue gak ada juga gak bikin perbedaan.
kalo gue gak ada juga gak ada yang sedih.
haha.
gue kan gak berguna.
gue ngerasa.
gue idup.
cuma menjalankan idup.
dilahirin.
struggle jalanin idup.
meninggal.
udah.
hahaha :3
thats funny.
we have to struggle in life.
kalo meninggal lebih enak,
kenapa kita harus idup?
buat apa gue idup kalo gak diperluin?
kan nyusahin aja.
nyusahin bonyok gue harus ngasih makan gue.
hahaha.
im apathy.
everyones apathy for me.
gue apa sih bagi dunia?
nothing.
i cried again.
not because i want him back.
im crying over the pains that he left for me.
its just.. too much.
yeah. him.
i kinda miss the old him.
he was caring, nice, thoughtful, helpful,
typical guy that (almost) every girls would fall for.
he used to make me smile.
he used to make me go lala.
well then all the lies that he tried to hide are revealed.
well you know what,
I FEEL SO STUPID THAT LIKE MORE THAN 25% OF MY BLOG POSTS ARE ABOUT HIM.
dumb me.
stom.
im over him, really.
but i cannot forgive the pain that he left.
its just hurt too much and he did change me to be a different person.
not better.
different.
its been a long time since the last time i cried over him.
its been a long time since the last time i loved him.
it has been a long time...
from the beginning i know that hes just not the right person for me.
but funny, things we do for the sake of love.
i let him into my life
when i know that hes gonna destroy me,
again.
for the second time.
fuck it.
but im over him
i really do.
he has nothing to do with my life anymore.
not even a piece of it.
Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin' And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
btw that was from littlest thing by lily allen.
i feel like omg this song made me almost cried.
but i cant.
that would be the LAST last time that i cried over him.
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.
which you wont
i feel so dumb.
im nothing for you
for everything that He has done to me.
for every happiness that i received.
every blessing that He gives.
even the miseries that He had given to me.
(i am not being sarcastic)
the miseries that make me stronger and stronger each day
i am sorry that i dont talk to You much.
i am sorry that i refused to go to church just because i think that it is boring.
i am sorry.
but it really is boring :S
i hope You will open my heart.. soon.
i love You (:
i just dont really care of losing one friend :]
(well not the closest ones fa sho.)
btw no im not losing a friend currently but i know i just might.
its not that i dont care about my friends.
its just that if things doesn't work out why trying so hard to work it out?
it will fall again eventually anyway.
but i dont let go some friends that means something to me.
yeah ive lost some friends
and i didnt try to work it out
cz its just useless being friends again with them
and i dont feel like i need to be friends with them.
why bother?
:)
well i dont mind being friends with them again
its just that i dont feel like im not the one that is having to work it out
i dont really care anyway
if you care please do work it out
if you dont well leave me alone.
sometimes im a bit sick of one of (actually) my bestfriends.
idk i got annoyed of her way of talking.
its like shes saying that shes better than everyone else
well HELLO
(im sorry i gotta delete some stuffs down here. i dont like pointing them out on the public)
your way of talking, your intonation, language (both verbal and body language), and your expression is like telling me that im totally worse than you.
hello? no one is better than anyone.
sometimes i got a bit offended by your way of talking.
and sometimes you are a bit obsessed for being the boss of everything.
well no one ever said that its a sin not to be the boss
if you just do the right thing and be happy why do you have to take things hard?
idk sometimes your obsession sounds so selfish to me.
btw it also offends me that you criticize the normal kids kind of life
(yeah like cursing, dating, and those kind of stuffs)
all i wanna say is that
<b>HELLO, THOSE STUFFS ARE NORMAL. YOU'RE THE ONE WHOS BEEN TOO STIFF</b>
and you are not better than those people who swear, curse, or date
and its a bit offending for me that you said:
'oh my gawsh i got 76 for this subject. this is so bad, ohmygawsh'
well, HELLO, i got 30something. puhh-leez.
you know that you dont even need to say that
and speaking of attitude,
i remember when you said that your parents love you because of your attitude
when i told you that my parents dont even care about me.
<b>WELL EXCUSE ME, I STILL FEEL OFFENDED, HELLO.</b>
its like you fvcking trying to tell me that
'OH MY ATTITUDE IS BETTER THAN YOU. YOU'RE JUST A NORMAL ASSHOLE'you cant always have be the right one.
people have different perspective and you cant say that your perspective is the rightest one.
well all that i can say is
IM NOT YOU, OKAY? I CANT BE.
I AM NOT GOING TO STARE ONTO THICK BOOKS,
NOR PLAYING MATHEMATICAL GAME
NOR READING SHAKESPEARE BOOK.
but still youre no better than me.
i may curse sometimes
i go crazy, i laugh out loud, i curse when i am really mad, i scream, i smile, i dont study much
but thats just me and i see nothing wrong with it
well except that i dont study much. but you still cant judge that you're better than me.</sub>
<b>and im no better than you too.</b>
we have different perspective of live
i see life as no biggie and our failure is not the end of the world. it will lead us to something better.
while you.. idk.
you probably see life is a failure if you are not gonna be a leader.
okay i dont blame you for your perspective
and i respect you.
but you cant force everyone to have the same perspective in life.
we are different.. we definitely have a different point of view.
by the way you are no more mature than me.
you dont know the shits that are going through my head.
i dont wanna offend you nor hate you.
and its not my intention to stab you from the back if you feel so
im just expressing my feeling.
sorry.
dan gue gak bakal ngejauhin elo karena perspektif lo
gue gak diskredit elo karena perspektif lo
lo cuek2 aja sama keadaan gue, sm temen2 lo yg laen
gue respect.
i mean, thats you
gue gak nyoba buat ngubah elo.
lo mau gak peduli sm keadaan sekitar, terseraah
tapi gue gak suka lo diskredit gue
diskredit orang2 sekitar lo.
maaf.
I feel crap about people who treat me crap and feels like I wanna throw a crap on them.
Merde. Tres merde.
I really am disappointed in myself
I can't express how I dislike people DIRECTLY.
merde. oh yeah very.
gue gak bisa ngekspresiin gimana gue sebel sama orang gimana gue benci sm orang gimana gue gak seneng digituin gimana gue kesel digituin
WANJIIIIIIIIIING
kesel banget gue gilak.
ya gue nunjukin sih kalo gue gak suka dengan cuman mendecak sebel dan ngeliatin dengan tatapan ala natasha yang gak ngenakin
(oh yeah cindy pasti tau rasanya gimana)
tapi gue GAK BISA ngomong langsung GAK MAU APA GIMANA GITU
gue cuman bisa ngeliatin kea gitu sambil pasang muka sebel dan gak ngomong apapa dan pasrang ngasih apalagi sama nyokap gue. anjing lah. tai. tai banget. anjing.
maaf ya banyak swearing. im having a bad day today.
I used to look up on you.
You used to be three-metres high.
You were something.
I did respect you for acting so mature.
You have a job, a well-paid one, especially.
You take care of your mom.
You're not scared to admit talk about your mom,
Cause some guys are ashamed of it, which is lame.
I'm sorry, I guess I was wrong.
You were this tower that I look up to,
Now you're just as tiny as a bacteria which I don't put in respect.
You are too stupid to let me go and showing the real you too soon.
Admit it, Mr. M, I am brilliant, creative, cheerful, fun, patient, nice,
And I was willing to sacrifice myself for you.
I did what I used to not,
And you (might) call that I don't put too much effort for you?
Shame on you. I said, shame on you.
I am not saying that I am ready to deny your existence and your power in me,
But someday I will.
Eventually.
Sooner or later.
I will.
I am not going to let you to take over my life,
Ruin it,
Crash it into pieces,
And let it scatter on the street.
Crush.
I am not saying that I am completely absolutely careless about you.
But someday I will.
Eventually.
Sooner or later.
Apparently, I still am not.
But you could just sit back and relax,
Watch me struggling to get rid of him, the devil that took over my soul.
If I say he will go away, he will.
If I say he will disappear, he will.
If I say he doesn't exist, he does not.
I have avoided talking to him.
I have avoided to listen to Arctic Monkeys.
But somehow I just can't stand it and guess what I did.
If you are not that retarded you can tell.
These blogs make me sound needy.
Needy, stupid, immature, and what else?
I guess there must be a lot.
But people who have feelings,
People who do have heart would not tell me how wrong I am.
They know how it feels like to be abandoned, broke up, and trying to get all the broken pieces of me into one again.
I say it is natural.
